When Time Stood Still: 23 Hours of Labor for a Lifetime of Love

My Birth Story with My Firstborn, Xayden Rew

As if pregnancy wasn’t hard enough, there I was at 39 weeks pregnant, getting ready for a shower—when I suddenly felt like I had accidentally peed a little... Had my water just broken? I wasn’t entirely sure at first, but as reality set in, I figured I had plenty of time to shower (most women would—it’s usually not as dramatic as in the movies). So, I took my shower, called my husband, and headed to Labor & Delivery.

It was confirmed: my water indeed broke, and it was time to prepare for the birth of my firstborn, Xayden Rew. Luckily, I wasn’t alone—I had both my husband and my sister-in-law, Elisa, by my side for the entire process.

The Start of Labor

Even though my water broke, my contractions were irregular and far apart. After some discussion, we decided to start Pitocin to help move things along. Two hours in, I could already feel the contractions growing stronger, but I was only 4 cm dilated. At this point, the pain was becoming overwhelming—I was struggling to breathe through the contractions and couldn’t even get up to use the restroom on my own.

Through it all, my husband and Elisa never left my side. Each time a contraction hit, they were right there, holding my hands, reminding me to breathe, and reassuring me that I was doing great. I remember my husband kissing my forehead and squeezing my hand, while Elisa would rub my back and offer words of encouragement. Having them there made such a difference—I truly don’t know what I would have done without their support.

Knowing that it takes about 45 minutes to an hour for anesthesiology to arrive, I requested an epidural before the pain became unbearable.

When the anesthesiologist arrived, my husband, being a bit squeamish, stepped out of the room (which we had planned for and I was totally fine with!). Instead, my sister-in-law, Elisa Essig, stayed by my side, holding my hands for support.

The procedure began. The numbing injection didn’t hurt at all, and the actual insertion of the epidural was just a weird pinch—nothing like I had feared. But as soon as the anesthesiologist administered a test dose, I felt a sharp zing in my right leg. That’s when he realized the epidural had hit a vein and we had to start over. It was a little scary and frustrating, but at least it was caught in time.

A Rollercoaster of Pain and Relief

An hour later, I was finally feeling better. "This is amazing," I thought. "This is going to be a breeze!"

Little did I know, the relief was short-lived.

A couple of hours later, I noticed the epidural was wearing off more than it should have. The contraction pain returned in full force, and soon, I was shivering uncontrollably, struggling to breathe, and experiencing heart palpitations.

A different anesthesiologist came to assess the situation. She administered a full dose of medication through my epidural, which worked—but only for another two hours. At this point, we had been in the hospital for six hours, and I was still only 4 cm dilated.

We decided to lower the Pitocin, hoping that was the cause of the increasing pain. Another full dose of medication brought relief for a few hours, but my labor still wasn’t progressing as expected.

Throughout it all, having Elisa there made such a difference—not just for me, but for my husband as well. As a mother herself, she knew what I was going through and was able to reassure me in ways that no one else could. But just as importantly, she was there for my husband. With this being our first child and knowing we had a high-risk pregnancy, he was already feeling the weight of the experience. On top of that, he doesn’t do well around blood and medical procedures, so having his sister there helped him stay grounded. She gave him the space to step out when he needed to, reassured him when things got overwhelming, and supported us both in a way that I’ll always be grateful for.

Concerns for My Baby

At this point, Xayden’s heart rate started dropping at random times. Each time it happened, the nurses had me switch into different, uncomfortable positions to stabilize it.

"Turn to your left and hold your leg up."
"Now turn to your right."
"Sit up. Get on all fours."

I would stay in whichever position kept his heart rate steady, but after a while, my hips and back were aching.

We restarted the Pitocin, and a couple of hours later, I finally reached 7 cm. The contraction pain kept returning in two-hour intervals, so I had to wait until I was cleared for more pain medication each time.

By the 20-hour mark, I had finally reached 9 cm dilated. But even after another hour, I was still stuck at 9 cm, and the doctors started discussing the possibility of a C-section due to Xayden’s fluctuating heart rate.

The Final Push—Literally

I told the doctors I really wanted to try for a vaginal birth, so we decided to start pushing early to see if I could deliver naturally.

Since my contractions had never been consistent (ranging anywhere from 2 to 7 minutes apart), pushing wasn’t as straightforward as I had expected. It was more like: push, wait… push again.

After a long, exhausting two hours of pushing, my beautiful baby boy was finally born.

Meeting Xayden

Despite the challenges—the epidural not fully working, my son’s heart rate dropping, my heart rate spiking, and his umbilical cord being wrapped around his neck—he was here. Safe and sound.

Xayden Rew Lanter was born August 23rd, 2024 weighing 8 lbs 6 oz and measuring 21 inches long, he was perfect—with a big ole’ head, thanks to my genetics.

The moment they placed him on my chest, every ounce of pain, exhaustion, and fear disappeared. There is no feeling in the world like holding your baby for the first time. It’s indescribable, overwhelming, and absolutely beautiful.

Reflecting on the Experience

Birth is one of the hardest things I have ever gone through—physically, emotionally, and mentally. It pushed me to my limits, tested my strength, and forced me to surrender to the unknown. But as challenging as it was, it was also the most rewarding experience of my life.

I know birth stories like mine can sound overwhelming, and the last thing I want is to scare any expecting moms or women who hope to become mothers one day. I’m sharing my journey not to create fear, but to offer honesty—because birth, in all its intensity, is also incredibly beautiful. The pain I endured was not just suffering; it was the bridge that brought me to my son. And through that pain, I discovered a strength in myself that I never knew existed.

Looking back, I realize how much this experience has shaped me—not just as a mother, but as a woman. It has given me an even deeper appreciation for my body and what it is capable of. And because of that, I know I want something different for my next birth journey. I want to prepare myself with birth classes, educate myself on natural pain management, and approach labor with as little medical intervention as possible. Not because I believe one way is better than another, but because I want to fully embrace what my body is designed to do. I want to feel that closeness with my baby, to trust the process, and to experience birth in a way that deepens my connection with both myself and my child.

I wouldn’t change a thing about my first birth—it taught me so much. And now, as I look to the future, I feel even more empowered and excited for what’s to come.